First Date Safety Checklist

Pre-date verification and communication

Verify your match's identity before meeting in person. Video chat at least once through FaceTime, WhatsApp, or platform features on sites like Match or eHarmony. Exchange phone numbers and verify they're working numbers, not Google Voice or other disposable services. Search their number through BeenVerified or similar services to confirm it matches the name and location they've provided.

Research your match through public records and social media. Their story should remain consistent across platforms. Look for red flags like recently created accounts, minimal friend interaction, or inconsistent personal details. Whether meeting someone from interracial dating sites, black dating platforms, or mainstream services, thorough verification provides peace of mind.

• Video chat verification — confirm appearance matches photos
• Phone number exchange — real number, not disposable service
• Number lookup — verify name and location match claimed identity
• Social media cross-check — consistent story across platforms
• Google search — check for public records or concerning information
• Trust your instincts — cancel if anything feels wrong

Location selection and public space requirements

Choose busy, public locations for first meetings. Coffee shops, restaurants with good lighting and staff presence, or daytime activities in populated areas all provide safety through visibility. Never agree to private locations, someone's home, or isolated areas regardless of how well conversation has gone. This applies equally whether meeting from serious relationship platforms or casual dating sites.

Select familiar territory where you know the area, exits, and nearby safe spaces. Avoid their suggested isolated "special spots" or romantic settings off the beaten path. On platforms like over-40 dating or over-50 dating, mature users sometimes assume safety measures are unnecessary—but age doesn't eliminate risk. Public accountability protects everyone regardless of demographic.

• Busy public spaces — coffee shops, restaurants, popular parks
• Daytime meetings — better visibility and more people around
• Familiar territory — locations you know well with clear exits
• Avoid private spaces — no homes, apartments, or isolated areas
• Staff presence — choose venues with employees who can assist if needed
• Well-lit areas — good visibility reduces risk

Transportation planning and independence

Always maintain transportation independence. Drive yourself, take rideshare, or use public transit rather than accepting rides. This ensures you can leave whenever you choose without depending on your date. Never share your home address before meeting; have rides pick you up at a nearby public location. Whether meeting from hookup platforms like AdultFriendFinder or relationship sites, independent transportation preserves autonomy.

Park in well-lit areas near building entrances if driving. Note your parking location and have keys ready before walking to your car. If using rideshare, don't share rides with your date even if going the same direction. On gay dating or lesbian dating platforms, same safety principles apply regardless of match's gender or sexual orientation.

• Independent transportation — drive yourself or use rideshare/transit
• No home address sharing — meet at venue, not personal residences
• Safe parking — well-lit areas near entrances with good visibility
• Keys ready — have car keys in hand before walking to vehicle
• Separate departures — leave independently even if convenient to share
• Rideshare safety — don't share ride services with date

Communication with trusted contacts

Share full date details with at least one trusted friend or family member. Provide your match's name, phone number, profile screenshots, meeting location, and planned timeline. Set specific check-in times when you'll text your contact person. If you don't check in as scheduled, your contact should attempt to reach you and potentially alert authorities.

Consider using safety apps like bSafe, Noonlight, or Kitestring that allow silent distress signals or automatic alerts if you don't check in. Some platforms including InterracialMatch and BlackPeopleMeet partner with safety apps to provide integrated protection. Share your live location through Find My Friends or Google Maps with your trusted contact throughout the date.

• Full information sharing — name, number, photos, location, timeline
• Scheduled check-ins — specific times to text safety contact
• Safety app usage — bSafe, Noonlight, or Kitestring for emergencies
• Live location sharing — activate Find My Friends or Google Maps sharing
• Emergency contact ready — ensure trusted person available during date
• Code words — pre-arranged signals indicating need for help

Alcohol and substance safety protocols

Maintain full control of your faculties on first dates. Limit alcohol consumption to one or two drinks maximum. Never leave drinks unattended—take them to the bathroom or order fresh ones upon returning. Watch bartender prepare your drinks directly rather than accepting pre-poured beverages. On platforms like BeNaughty, Fling, or WannaHookup, sexual chemistry doesn't justify compromising safety.

Decline any substances offered by your date including marijuana, prescription medications, or recreational drugs. Impaired judgment increases vulnerability to assault or manipulation. If you begin feeling unexpectedly intoxicated or ill, leave immediately and contact your safety person. Drink spiking remains a serious risk, particularly on hookup-focused platforms where sexual expectations may exist.

• Limited alcohol — maximum one or two drinks
• Watch drinks prepared — see bartender make them directly
• Never leave drinks unattended — take to bathroom or order fresh
• Decline all substances — no drugs regardless of normalization
• Monitor your state — leave if feeling unexpectedly impaired
• Accept only sealed bottles — prefer unopened beverages you open yourself

Personal information boundaries and privacy

Protect detailed personal information on first dates. Avoid sharing specific home addresses, workplace details beyond general industry, or daily routine patterns that enable stalking. Don't feel obligated to answer intrusive questions about income, living situations, or personal history. Whether using InterracialCupid or ALT, gradual disclosure as trust develops protects your privacy.

Be cautious with social media connections before meeting. Some people use first dates to gather information for identity theft or harassment. Don't feel pressured to connect on Instagram, Facebook, or LinkedIn until you've established genuine trust. On platforms serving serious relationship seekers, slower information disclosure doesn't indicate disinterest—it demonstrates healthy boundaries.

• Vague location details — neighborhood not specific address
• General workplace info — industry and role, not company name
• Routine privacy — don't share daily patterns or schedules
• Financial boundaries — income and assets remain private initially
• Social media caution — delay connection until trust established
• Question deflection — politely decline answering intrusive questions

Exit strategies and assertive boundary setting

Plan exit strategies before arriving. Have a friend call at a predetermined time providing a reason to leave if needed. Keep phone charged and accessible throughout the date. If your date makes you uncomfortable, you owe no explanation—simply state you need to leave and do so. Whether on InstaBang, NaughtyTalk, or any platform, your safety supersedes politeness.

Practice assertive refusal of uncomfortable requests. If your date pushes to change locations to somewhere private, insists on buying excessive drinks, or makes unwanted physical contact, clearly state your boundaries. Don't worry about seeming rude or hurting feelings. Real compatible partners respect boundaries; those who push back reveal incompatibility or worse. Sites like OneNightFriend and SexMessenger facilitate casual connections, but consent remains non-negotiable.

• Pre-arranged emergency call — friend calls at specific time with exit excuse
• Phone accessibility — charged and easy to access throughout date
• No explanation needed — leave uncomfortable situations immediately
• Assertive boundary communication — clearly state limits without apology
• Physical boundary enforcement — refuse unwanted touching firmly
• Location change refusal — decline moving to private or secondary locations

Next steps and dating safety resources

• Browse safe dating platforms
• Match safety features
• eHarmony safety center
• Interracial dating safety
• Explore cam platforms